Today's blog entry is posted by AdvancePath Academics Educational Consultant, Charmaine Carter.

The term “prosocial” has become increasingly popular in the academic arena. As educators, we find ourselves having to spend more and more class time working on non-academic integrations within our student communities. Prosocial behavior is defined as, "voluntary behavior intended to benefit another.”* The term is often associated with building appropriate and desirable traits in children. When we define “prosocial behavior and interactions” it is not just the “what” and “how”, it is also the “why”. It is more than “thank you”, “please”, “you’re welcome” and holding a door for someone. A large part of getting students to embrace prosocial behaviors and interactions is empathy. Therefore, being prosocial is not just a skillset, it is a mindset that we must encourage our students to embrace. In order to impact students, we have to engage in prosocial behaviors and interactions with staff, parents, community stakeholders, as well as our students.

Three factors to remember as we encourage students to embrace prosocial behaviors:

• Begin with the end in mind- Whether it is a conversation after a negative encounter with a student or a Resiliency lesson, always remember what targeted outcome you are trying to achieve in the student interaction. If the conversation or lesson is not going as planned, go back to why you entered the interaction and let that be your guide to getting to your targeted outcome. You may have to adjust how you get to the “bottom-line”, but be ever-present of what your “bottom-line” is. For example, you may have a student who constantly uses profane language in the presence of staff and students. Your targeted outcome is to get the student to stop the behavior immediately. You may have to set up goals and a progress monitoring system with the student to scale back the language incrementally until he/she completely complies with request. This may require countless reminders, conversations, rewards and consequences, goal sheets and other strategies to reach the targeted outcome. Remember, changing mindsets, is much more difficult than just adding a skillset.
• Be aware of the environment- Always consider when and where each conversation with a student should take place. Calling a student out in front of his/her peers may cause a residual negative encounter. As much as possible, try to engage the student in a one-to-one interface. Admittedly, some behaviors must be addressed immediately. However, remember to begin with the end in mind. Your goal is to stop the behavior at that moment because it may cause a negative impact on the entire class. Once the behavior is stopped, let the student(s) know you would like to speak with them at a later time to further discuss the incident. If it is an entire class issue, then addressing the group may be the right strategy to utilize. Whether one-to-one or whole group, use this time as that “teachable moment” and collaborate with the student(s) on the “what” happened, “how” it impacted the class culture and the “why” it is important to make better choices. Have the student(s) strategize on better choices and improvement, while letting them know you are a part of their support system. A “teachable moment” can be lost if improperly executed, so we want to be thoughtful and intentional about when it happens.
• Choose your words and delivery- Often, as my grandmother used to say, “Things get lost in the sauce”. Sometimes it is not what is being said, it is how it is being said that deeply impacts acceptance of the message. Students may say and do things that are upsetting to adults, but we must take a step back, take a deep breath and be thoughtful and clear about what we want to say. Students are less receptive to correction and improvement if they believe they are being judged or publicly scolded. If you recognize that what you are about to say will be received poorly because you are emotionally invested or feel it was a personal attack on you, then you may not want to say everything in that moment. Say just enough to stop the behavior, but not permanently harm the relationship with the student and/or entire class. Later, when you are less emotionally invested, circle-back with the student(s) and have a shared discussion about what happened. The key is “shared”. Give the student(s) an opportunity to speak and discuss their version of the encounter. Often, we find the student believed you may have done or said something previous to their behavior or statement to you or they had other things going on and it manifested with you. This does not excuse the negative behavior, but it sheds light on the situation and gives you an opportunity to work with the student on better choices, going forward. Pausing and reflecting before addressing a student after a negative interaction is a powerful example of modeling the behaviors we want students to embrace.

Yes, we are here to teach the proverbial “Three R’s” and to ensure graduation for all. However, what our students need most is for us to be there to talk through their struggles, listen to their versions of their stories without judgment and model positive behaviors they will need in order for success, in the classroom and beyond. As we prepare global learners, we must remember to simultaneously prepare global citizens.

* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosocial_behavior